Recovering from an addiction is rarely straightforward. In fact, studies show that approximately 65% to 70% of addicts relapse within the first 90 days after finishing a program. In other words, even if you spend good money to isolate yourself within a supportive environment, you still might fall victim to all the vices that await you on the outside.
Unfortunately, many of these addictions have roots in the family. People who have suffered massive trauma as kids or teenagers are more prone to drugs, alcohol, and gambling. This is precisely why they need the support of the same family members to finally address their issues.
Your family members should understand that they might’ve been, directly or indirectly, a catalyst for their child’s problems. Through accountability and compassion, they can rectify the situation and instill a new hope in the addict. In this article, we’ll explain why the role of family members is so important and how they can provide assistance when everything seems gloomy.
Understanding Addiction Recovery
Eliminating an addiction rarely happens overnight. In most cases, it is a lifelong process that involves extensive counseling and internal work. The person must face the demons from their past, all the emotional pain, as well as unhealthy coping tactics. Instead of using drugs and alcohol, the addict must turn to better things in life.
The earliest phases of addiction recovery are especially tough. Even if a person receives a highly touted ibogaine treatment, they might relapse under peer pressure as soon as they leave a clinic. The biggest problem for addict is that many of their friends probably enjoy similar vices. We’ll go as far as to say that these troubled individuals have created an entire existence around fulfilling that damaging need.
This is why addicts should never consider relapse as a failure. Instead, they should use it as a stepping stone toward eventual problem resolution. Family plays a major role in this goal, as they serve as someone who provides compassion without enabling the addict.
7 Ways to Support Family Members
Most people will tell you that compassion is vital for helping your friends and family with addiction. Unfortunately, resilience is often overlooked. You must be able to handle a lot of stress and fatigue, because the process is anything but smooth. Without further ado, here are a few practices that will help you help others:
Learn the Basics
Understanding the root causes behind the addiction is the first step. You must understand how the person feels during all this time and what drove them to these destructive decisions. By covering the basics, you’ll have much more empathy for the loved one.
Nowadays, there are many online resources covering the topic. As if that wasn’t enough, you can read several amazing books on addiction recovery, and even attend workshops. By addressing your own stigma, you’ll feel at ease helping the family member.
Practice Empathy
Speaking of empathy, you must learn to listen without judging. You have to understand that this person has felt isolated for quite a while, since the vice took over them in the first days of recovery. They need someone who cares about them so they won’t feel so lonely anymore.
Be careful how you express yourself in their vicinity. Avoid phrases such as “junkie” or anything else that might belittle them. Avoid giving your opinions and, instead, be there to lend a compassionate ear.
Encourage Help
Neither you nor your loved one has the tools to deal with this issue. If you wish to address the underlying trauma, your family member will need counseling from a psychologist who has experience with vices.
Discuss different rehabilitation plans and choose the one that best suits your family member. Don’t worry much about the price tag. Instead, you should even encourage them to try another rehabilitation program if the first one fails.
Set Boundaries
Supporting a person doesn’t mean providing limitless resources or acting without thinking. While you must atone for your past mistakes that led to this kind of behavior, you shouldn’t give out money that would fuel further, destructive behavior.
Talk to your family member about what you’re willing and what you’re not willing to do. The person must understand that you’re here to help emotionally, but he’s the one who must walk the walk.
Be Patient
As mentioned, this is a slow process that includes numerous setbacks. In fact, you should feel lucky if your family member gives up the vice on the first try. Meanwhile, you mustn’t do anything that would undermine their confidence or self-worth.
The family member should understand the complexity of the problem and the healing it takes to quit. Meanwhile, you should do everything in your power to stay even-keeled.
Celebrate Milestones
The problem with addiction recovery is that it often feels like an endless process. This is because many people celebrate only the final results, not every milestone. Keep in mind that small victories are every bit as important as they’ll eventually lead to the elimination of the bad habit.
Keep the spirits high after every minor victory, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Acknowledge the effort and downplay setbacks.
Practice Self-Care
Addiction recovery isn’t something you can finish in a few months. As mentioned, most people relapse several times over until they finally quit. If you’re proactively assisting a family member, you’ll likely feel some of that stress on your own skin.
This is why you should never disregard your mental and physical health. Maintain positive practices and hobbies that will help you stay cool, calm, and collected.
Eliminating Addictions
Persistence is the most important trait for both you and your family member. No matter the issue you encounter, you must stay on the same page and give it your all to address it. If necessary, you should even hire an addiction recovery expert who will create a personalized plan and guide you throughout the process.